Initial Reaction
by laurah2215
Summary: Gaza.


Title: Initial Reaction

Author: Laura H

Rating :PG-13

Spoiler: Gaza

Pairing: Josh/Donna

Category: Angst? Romance, Friendship…

Synopsis: Takes place during and slightly after "Gaza". My version of

what goes on in Josh's mind when he hears that Donna was hurt in the

car bombing in the Gaza Strip.

Author's Notes: All disclaimers apply. Just a short little thing I

wrote on my lunch hour. Hope you enjoy. I may write a more

traditional, detailed fanfic with more dialogue and stuff depending

on how inspired I am, and how the season finale turns out. It may or

may not continue with this fic, it all depends. Oh, please bear in

mind that I only watched the episode once so there may be one or two

inconsistencies. Okay, thanks.

"If there's someplace else you'd rather be…?" Leo had said the words

and Josh hadn't given it a second thought. Get to Germany, get to

Donna. There was no place else he needed to be right now.

Since the moment someone had mentioned that Donna had been in the car

that was spontaneously blown to pieces in the Gaza Strip, he hadn't

stopped panicking. His heart hadn't stopped racing. The only woman

that had ever really meant anything to him was thousands of miles of

way in God knows where and all they could tell him was that she had

potentially significant bleeding problems.

Nothing could happen to her, it was that simple, in his mind. If

anything happened to her, he simply didn't know how he could live

without her. She was always there for him, and right now he had to

find a way to be with her. He had to make sure she was okay, because

he relied on her to be his rock in so many aspects of his life, not

just at work. Josh could account for the dozens of times she had

cared for him when he was sick, or put him up when he was drunk and

in desperate need to crash at a place closer than his own apartment.

He'd be stupid and make mistakes, not ever express his real feelings

toward her, and somehow she was still always there for him. It never

ceased to amaze him. Suddenly he feels nauseous thinking of what

could have happened to her.

He shouldn't have told everyone in the Oval Office to find and kill

everyone involved with the bombing. He shouldn't have yelled

something so irrational, especially in front of the new deputy NSC,

Kate, he thinks. But all he could think about was Kate's stupid

logical, "girly" suggestion and Donna lying trapped under a car

somewhere bleeding to death. He wasn't going to apologize for

suggesting killing the people who harmed the woman he was in love

with.

Josh couldn't take it anymore. He runs back to his bullpen, into his

office, throws his backpack over his shoulder and rushes out of the

office without so much as a glance back. He would deal with whatever

the consequences of quitting early would be later. Time to get on the

next commercial flight to Germany. The Whitehouse would function

without him for a while. CJ would cover the Press well, the President

would give his national address tonight, and wouldn't do anything

irrational simply because Fitzwallace had been brutally and blatantly

attacked and murdered… would he? Oh well, no time to go back.

When the flight attendant hands him a package of peanuts, Josh

doesn't look up. He wonders what happened to Andy and whether or not

she was on a her way home safely. Toby had wanted her to come home,

and surely the kids would be missing her, too. Thank God at least one

of them had made it out of there unharmed. But it really wasn't

Toby's ex-wife who was on Josh's mind, it was his beautiful assistant

who was surely in a horrible state right now. And the worst part was

not knowing how she was, and not being there with her.

He hopes he can make it there before she wakes up from whatever

surgery she was due to have in attempt to repair the damage the

explosion and crash had done to her body. It would probably be

frightening to wake up in a strange country full of odd doctors

peering at you, especially when you are only half-conscious and in

the most pain you have ever experienced in your life. Donna would

probably welcome him there when she woke up.

God, he wished he could be there now. He wanted to be able to reach

out and hold her hand in his and know that there would be countless

other opportunities for him to hold her hand in the future. One thing

about him was that he was usually blind to situations that hit him in

the face, but this was going to be different. He wasn't going to walk

away from her this time without letting her know just how scared of

losing her he was. He had to tell her how much he loved her, and how

his life wouldn't be the same without her. This was a sign if there

ever was one. He had been given opportunities to express his feelings

in the past, but this time Josh knew he was going to go for it.

Because if after this he couldn't lie down beside her and draw her

into his arms and tell her how much she means to him, then he would

be the biggest jerk in the world.

But a bit of guilt plagues him. He should never have sent her to the

Gaza on the fact-finding mission with the Congress in the first

place. It hadn't been necessary. One of CJ's deputies could have

taken the assignment willingly. But Donna had wanted it, and he had

wanted her to get the experience and grow into her position. She had

begged him to take her on trips before, and he had never felt like

they were appropriate because they weren't meaningful enough, but

this was going to be good for her. He figured this was going to be a

great opportunity for her to see the political situation in another

region, and report back to him and Toby about it. But just look at

what happened. The damned criminals went and blew three reputable

American officials to pieces, pissed off the President and most of

the U.S government, and hurt the woman he loved. Josh was personally

going to see to it that justice was served to the individuals

responsible and involved. He was just lucky to be the President's

deputy chief of staff and have the kind of influence to get what he

wanted.

A couple of hours later Josh arrives at a state-of-the-art, high-tech

hospital in Germany, where he is cordially received by the doctor who

had operated on Donna. The doctor explains to him that the explosion

was bad and that Donna suffered, but it could have been worse.

Basically, it will be weeks before Donna will be healed and fully

mobile, and it will take months of physiotherapy to correct some of

the damage done to her, and gain back some of the mobility she will

inevitably lose. The doctor assures Josh that she will be okay and

that he can go in and see her, if he likes.

Josh feels nauseated talking about blood, broken bones or collapsed

anythings, so it takes him a moment to compose himself. But

eventually he gathers himself and walks into Donna's designated room,

what he has wanted to do from the moment he heard she was hurt.

When he enters the well-lit sterile room, Josh feels cold and

slightly scared. Donna is propped up on the bed and looks horribly

beat up. He has to catch his breath and force himself to move to sit

in the chair beside the bed. He can't stop staring. He has never seen

her like this. She looks so tiny and fragile and like she is getting

her very life out of the tube in her nose. She is paler than usual,

and he wonders how anyone could ever want to hurt someone like this.

He vows then and there that he will personally nurse her back to

health.

He sits and stares for a long time. He loses all concept of time.

Occasionally he can hear medica equipment and machines going in rooms

across the hall, or nurses and doctors conversing in the corridors,

but that's all. Eventually the doctor comes in and tells him he

should go and get some sleep. Josh confesses that he has no where to

go, that he had simply grabbed the first available plane out of D.C

and forgot about everything else. The doctor offers to bring in a cot

for Josh, and Josh decides it's about time to make a couple of phone

calls before someone sends in the marines. After the day the

President and everyone else has had, it wouldn't be a very welcome

treat for them to think they lost the deputy chief of staff.

So Josh stands up after the doctor leaves and steps closer to Donna's

bed. He bends low so he can talk to her, which he hasn't done yet,

for fear of waking her or feeling stupid. "I'll be right back. Don't

go anywhere." He realizes the sheer idiocy of the request, but

ignores it and proceeds to head into the hallway in search of a phone

to call the Whitehouse.

Several minutes later, Josh returns back to the hospital room. Leo

had had no problem with Josh spending a couple of days in Germany, so

long as he stood in touch so they could deal with the problems at

hand. Everyone at the Whitehouse was concerned about Donna, and

wanted Josh to bring her home safely. Leo had also told Josh that

Andy was on her way back home, too, much to Toby's relief.

Josh doesn't sit back in his chair, or the cot, which had

materialized in the far corner of the room since he had returned. He

stands beside Donna's bed again. He remembers reading something about

people in comas being able to still hear what was going on around

them, so he figures maybe Donna can hear him, too. He vaguely recalls

her reading to him from newspapers after he was shot four years ago.

He enjoyed that.

"Donna…" He whispers softly, not wanting to startle her if she was

just sleeping. "Donna…" He tries again. He smiles at her, finding a

spot on the side of her face that is free of bruising and lightly

grazes it with his finger tip. He pushes a lock of her hair

back. "It's okay. I didn't travel all this way to talk to you. Just

seeing you is good enough. Just keep on sleeping." He can't take his

worried and loving eyes off her. He lowers himself and does

something he could never imagine doing when she's conscious, he

places a soft kiss to her lips. "I'm so glad you're alright. I

couldn't live without you, Donna. I love you."

And the faintest smile creeps up Donna's lips. "I love you, too."


End file.
